Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I met the friendliest cop last night
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
