He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
