my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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