How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
