Already got asked if we're dating
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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