i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
