Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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