Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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