i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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