It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize