I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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