you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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