I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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