theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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