where am i from again
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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