Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
