I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
