Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize