I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
