Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
