That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
