just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
