dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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