I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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