I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
