It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i think i just lost a toe
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
