if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
