I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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