uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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