i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
