anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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