so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Found the puke drawer
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize