I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
