threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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