Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
