I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
