who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
How does one acquire holy water?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
