I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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