I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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