May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
