I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
