capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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