when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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