Kiss
Puke
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
