I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
