Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize