"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
