Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
