WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
