i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
It's just like the Real World with babies
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
