i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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