I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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