I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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