we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
