We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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