New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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