just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
