Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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