I just saw a hot homeless man
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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