Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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