a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
