He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
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