we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
