Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
