it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Randomize
