Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
