Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize