i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
What a dumb baby whore.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
